Jessica Sutherland Daily Kos Staff
In
a world where cops are shooting unarmed
citizens to death because they can’t tell the difference between a cell phone and a gun,
it seems obvious that the world doesn’t need a gun that looks like a
smartphone on purpose, right?
The
inventors of the Ideal Conceal have a beer that needs holding.
Created and
produced by real ‘Mericans in Monticello, Minnesota, the Ideal Conceal looks
just like a Samsung Galaxy 7 knockoff—until you press a couple buttons on the
side and it folds out into a two-bullet, .380 caliber killing machine. Hooray!
The
folks behind this completely brilliant idea (that couldn’t possibly lead to
anything bad happening ever) claim to have only the purest of intentions.
The
idea for Ideal Conceal follows the present-day demand for handguns that people
can carry on a day to day basis, in a manner that makes carrying a gun easy to
do.
From soccer moms to professionals of every type, this gun allows you the
option of not being a victim.
The
unrivaled Ideal Conceal pistol is a carefully engineered double barreled
derringer.
Cunningly designed to look like a smartphone when folded up, one
click of the safety and you’re ready to go.
That’s
right, soccer moms! If little Kayden or Silas gets a yellow card when they
should have gotten an assist, you can now unleash unrivaled horrors at your
local rec center, instead of just screaming at that volunteer ref like a
normal, unarmed parent!
Those
Debbie Downers are obviously who Ideal Conceal founder and creator
Kirk Kjellberg had in mind when he first came up with this
completely not dangerous idea.
I
was doing the “right things” to carry my Colt Mustang by covering it up with a
jacket. However, the jacket got caught up on the pistol when I stood up and a
young boy saw that I had a gun and made a bit of a scene. I figured there just
had to be a better way. When I sat back down again I noticed everyone on their
phone out and decided on that shape.
That
little boy sounds like a real jerk, doesn’t he, causing a scene like that for
poor Kirk?
Kjellberg went a little deeper into the origin
story with local news back in 2016:
CEO
Kirk Kjellberg said he got the idea for the gun at a restaurant, after getting
his permit to carry -- and quickly realizing he'd like to be more concealed.
"I walked towards the restroom and a little child, a boy about 7, saw me
and said, 'Mommy, mommy, that guy's gotta gun,'" he said. "The whole
restaurant of course turns and stares at you and I thought, 'There's just gotta
be something better to do than this.'"
Ugh,
how embarrassing for you, Kirk, to have terrified an entire restaurant when you
were just trying to bring your gun to the bathroom.
Though an iPhone case designed to just look
like a gun made headlines and raised eyebrows a few years
back, Kjellberg’s masked tool of murder is far from the first of its kind.
There’s the LifeCard,
a single-bullet .22 pistol that folds down to the equivalent of an
unnaturally thick stack of credit cards. There’s even a folding AR-15 that
can fit into a “small backpack,” for the mass shooter on the go.
Officials in Europe are already on the
lookout for the Ideal Conceal to hit their shores, concerned
(and rightfully so) about the challenge of detecting it.
An
alert sent to Belgian police at the weekend said that although no copies had
yet been found, the weapons were expected to turn up on European streets soon.
“To the eye, nothing can distinguish it from a mobile telephone,” said the
Belgian police alert, reported by Dernière Heure newspaper.
“Most people possess a smartphone, meaning that it can pass completely
overlooked.”
Here
in the states, though, the oh-so-affordable compact killer has faced few
regulatory hurdles as gun enthusiasts and educators have spoken out against it.
At
SimTrainer Indoor Range and Training Center, Jeff Pedro says, "I can't
speak for all others but I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole."
Pedro
served as a police officer in Kettering for 25 years and has been a firearms
instructor for 30 years.
About
the Ideal Conceal cellphone gun, he said, "Overall, my professional
opinion is it’s just a bad idea from a safety perspective, and also from an
access perspective. The inability to get it out, get it functional in a rapid
situation would be extremely difficult."
The
unintentional appeal of the weapon to children is a huge worry as well.
Considering most toddlers know how to navigate smartphones these days (and
the fact that accidental toddler shootings happen
all the time), it’s a valid concern that little Wynter might snag the gun while
simply trying to get a Paw Patrol fix.
“My
biggest concern is someone having this at home, sitting on a coffee table,”
said Gil Smith, a crime and safety analyst with WJXT Channel 4, in
Jacksonville. “A child will come up, they deal with cellphones (and) they pick
it up. Now they have a gun in their hands. They have a weapon in their hands,
and they can pull the trigger.”
Kjellberg,
of course, predictably waves off all
of those worries as drivel.
Kjellberg
also dismissed concerns about children seeing the phone-shaped weapon and
accidentally getting hurt.
"In
America, we have lots of children in contact with pistols already. There's been
quite a few incidents long before my product came along," he said.
"For me, it's not the gun. It's the people. So if you have a pistol and
you have children anywhere near you, it's your responsibility to lock that
stuff up and keep it away from children."
Easy
for Kjellberg to say, considering gun manufacturers are rarely held
liable for the carnage their products wreak.
The
NRA recently selected the Ideal Conceal as one of its featured products for the
hellscape that is its 2018 annual meeting, so expect these little Go-Bot guns
to start permeating the market soon.
