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Friday, May 11, 2018

"Excuse me, I have to take this call and kill someone."

Jessica Sutherland  Daily Kos Staff

Image result for ideal concealIn a world where cops are shooting unarmed citizens to death because they can’t tell the difference between a cell phone and a gun, it seems obvious that the world doesn’t need a gun that looks like a smartphone on purpose, right?

The inventors of the Ideal Conceal have a beer that needs holding. 

Created and produced by real ‘Mericans in Monticello, Minnesota, the Ideal Conceal looks just like a Samsung Galaxy 7 knockoff—until you press a couple buttons on the side and it folds out into a two-bullet, .380 caliber killing machine. Hooray!

The folks behind this completely brilliant idea (that couldn’t possibly lead to anything bad happening ever) claim to have only the purest of intentions.

Image result for ideal conceal
The idea for Ideal Conceal follows the present-day demand for handguns that people can carry on a day to day basis, in a manner that makes carrying a gun easy to do. 

From soccer moms to professionals of every type, this gun allows you the option of not being a victim.

The unrivaled Ideal Conceal pistol is a carefully engineered double barreled derringer. 

Cunningly designed to look like a smartphone when folded up, one click of the safety and you’re ready to go.

That’s right, soccer moms! If little Kayden or Silas gets a yellow card when they should have gotten an assist, you can now unleash unrivaled horrors at your local rec center, instead of just screaming at that volunteer ref like a normal, unarmed parent! 

The Ideal Conceal fits right in with the growing trend of letting people hide their guns so they can sneak them into places where folks really don’t want to see guns or get shot.

Those Debbie Downers are obviously who Ideal Conceal founder and creator Kirk Kjellberg had in mind when he first came up with this completely not dangerous idea.

I was doing the “right things” to carry my Colt Mustang by covering it up with a jacket. However, the jacket got caught up on the pistol when I stood up and a young boy saw that I had a gun and made a bit of a scene. I figured there just had to be a better way. When I sat back down again I noticed everyone on their phone out and decided on that shape.

That little boy sounds like a real jerk, doesn’t he, causing a scene like that for poor Kirk?

Kjellberg went a little deeper into the origin story with local news back in 2016:

CEO Kirk Kjellberg said he got the idea for the gun at a restaurant, after getting his permit to carry -- and quickly realizing he'd like to be more concealed. "I walked towards the restroom and a little child, a boy about 7, saw me and said, 'Mommy, mommy, that guy's gotta gun,'" he said. "The whole restaurant of course turns and stares at you and I thought, 'There's just gotta be something better to do than this.'"

Ugh, how embarrassing for you, Kirk, to have terrified an entire restaurant when you were just trying to bring your gun to the bathroom. 

Though an iPhone case designed to just look like a gun made headlines and raised eyebrows a few years back, Kjellberg’s masked tool of murder is far from the first of its kind. 

There’s the LifeCard, a single-bullet .22 pistol that folds down to the equivalent of an unnaturally thick stack of credit cards. There’s even a folding AR-15 that can fit into a “small backpack,” for the mass shooter on the go.

Officials in Europe are already on the lookout for the Ideal Conceal to hit their shores, concerned (and rightfully so) about the challenge of detecting it.

An alert sent to Belgian police at the weekend said that although no copies had yet been found, the weapons were expected to turn up on European streets soon. “To the eye, nothing can distinguish it from a mobile telephone,” said the Belgian police alert, reported by Dernière Heure newspaper. “Most people possess a smartphone, meaning that it can pass completely overlooked.”

Here in the states, though, the oh-so-affordable compact killer has faced few regulatory hurdles as gun enthusiasts and educators have spoken out against it.

At SimTrainer Indoor Range and Training Center, Jeff Pedro says, "I can't speak for all others but I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole."

Pedro served as a police officer in Kettering for 25 years and has been a firearms instructor for 30 years.

About the Ideal Conceal cellphone gun, he said, "Overall, my professional opinion is it’s just a bad idea from a safety perspective, and also from an access perspective. The inability to get it out, get it functional in a rapid situation would be extremely difficult."

The unintentional appeal of the weapon to children is a huge worry as well. Considering most toddlers know how to navigate smartphones these days (and the fact that accidental toddler shootings happen all the time), it’s a valid concern that little Wynter might snag the gun while simply trying to get a Paw Patrol fix.

“My biggest concern is someone having this at home, sitting on a coffee table,” said Gil Smith, a crime and safety analyst with WJXT Channel 4, in Jacksonville. “A child will come up, they deal with cellphones (and) they pick it up. Now they have a gun in their hands. They have a weapon in their hands, and they can pull the trigger.”

Kjellberg, of course, predictably waves off all of those worries as drivel. 

Kjellberg also dismissed concerns about children seeing the phone-shaped weapon and accidentally getting hurt.

"In America, we have lots of children in contact with pistols already. There's been quite a few incidents long before my product came along," he said. "For me, it's not the gun. It's the people. So if you have a pistol and you have children anywhere near you, it's your responsibility to lock that stuff up and keep it away from children."

Easy for Kjellberg to say, considering gun manufacturers are rarely held liable for the carnage their products wreak.

The NRA recently selected the Ideal Conceal as one of its featured products for the hellscape that is its 2018 annual meeting, so expect these little Go-Bot guns to start permeating the market soon.