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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Reset the Doomsday Clock

Just because you’re still here doesn’t mean that Harold Camping’s Doomsday prophecy was wrong. Even though the 6 o’clock hour last Saturday passed without 200 million people getting “Raptured” away and without the giggunda-sized earthquake he predicted, Camping is sticking to his story.

According to his broadcast over his Family Radio Network Monday night (May 23rd), his prediction for May 21st came true. Except it was an “invisible judgment day.” According to Camping, this invisible event has now triggered the five-month clock counting down to October 21st when “the world is going to be destroyed all together, but it will be very quick,” said Camping.

Meanwhile, anyone who donated all their stuff to the Charlestown Democrats’ “Not the End of the World Tag Sale” is welcome to buy it back this coming Saturday from 8 AM to 4 PM. Look for it at Old Post Road between Genwood Drive and the Ocean Aire Motel.

An interesting note about Camping’s new end-of-the-world prediction – it almost coincides with yet another potential Doomsday event. A 2 to 5 kilometer wide comet, named Comet Elenin is heading this way and will make its closest approach (estimated at 22 million miles) to Earth on October 16th.

Aside from being a pretty good prospect for sky-watchers and astronomers, there is a growing group of believers (at least a dozen of them) who believe that Comet Elenin is actually “Planet X,” a brown dwarf body (typically a failed star several times the mass of Jupiter) called Nibiru.

Such a massive object as a brown dwarf would have terrible effects on the Earth, perhaps even causing our magnetic poles to reverse, or tipping the Earth off its access. If it existed.

One Comet Elenin theorist believes the worst effects will happen on 9/11. This guy says the Rothschild-Rockefeller-New World Order ordered the Bush Administration to launch what they call the “inside job” attack on the US and blame it on Al Qaeda ten years to the day before Nibiru destroys the world so that….I dunno, something good will happen for them, but not for the rest of us. I diidn't quite get that part. I just found it especially creative to see how this guy bundled the “international Jewish banker conspiracy” with “trutherism” (the theory that 9/11 was an inside job) with a Doomsday prophecy. 

Oh, and Google is in on it, too. The story is that Google Sky (Google Earth's astromy version) blacked out that portion of the sky where Nibiru is located. After Progressive Charlestown’s recent experience with Google Blogger’s 48-hour crash, I guess Google is capable of anything.

Every detail in this article comes from an identified source on the Internet, which as we all know, is the source of all knowledge. And since this article is going on the Internet, that simply adds corroboration.

Now don’t get me started about the end of days foretold by the Mayan Calendar. The theory is that the Mayan calendar, which was a pretty impressive technological feat for a Neolithic culture, ends on December 21, 2012 and as the calendar ends, so does the world. How many shopping days does that leave us? Well, you can get a jump on your Doomsday preparation at Saturday’s Tag Sale.