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Saturday, April 27, 2013


Drunk Dancing
As Seen on TV: Dancing Field Sobriety Test

A North Kingstown man doesn’t fancy himself much of a dancer, according to reports. The 40-year-old man was pulled over for speeding and suspected of driving under the influence, prompting officers to ask him to take a field sobriety test.

During one of the test’s components, the man allegedly told officers, “I don’t think I could ever do that dance. I’ve seen it done on TV.” The component in question really wasn’t much of a dance, however. Known as the “walk and turn,” the component requires a person to walk in a straight line and then turn.

After reportedly failing the test/dance, police brought the man to headquarters, where he allegedly continued to chastise officers. He told one officer, “You’ll be lucky that I don’t catch you out of uniform.” His blood alcohol content measured at .085 and .082 — barely over the legal limit.

Man Drives Intoxicated With Three Children in Car

One mother apparently needs to find a better babysitter for her children. Portsmouth police pulled over a 46-year-old Massachusetts man for suspected drunk driving. When they looked inside the car, they found the man was driving three children (ages 3, 7 and 11).

The man’s blood alcohol content allegedly measured .2 and .197 in consecutive tests, more than twice the legal limit. The children’s mother picked them up at the scene. The man’s relation to the children has been withheld to protect their identities.

Smooth Talker

If you need to talk your way out of a sticky situation, you better hope this guy isn’t your wingman. A 42-year-old Newport man certainly has a way with words as he allegedly tried to intimidate an officer out of arresting him. Officers found the man passed out in the grass outside of a middle school and, when they tried to help him, the man reportedly began swearing at him. 

He allegedly told one officer, “I will drag you down 40 steps and drown you.” After he was told he would be arrested if he didn’t stop threatening police, he responded with, “Meet me down at Ruggles. Take off your badge and let’s go.” He was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

‘I’d Rather Die Than Go To Jail’

One Newport man truly embodies the “live free or die” motto following his arrest last week. The 42-year-old man was wanted on an assault charge and, when a woman threatened to contact the police department to have him arrested, he reportedly told her he’d “rather die than go to jail.” 

He wasn’t bluffing: the woman came back into the room to discover the man had stabbed himself in the chest. Police arrived to find the man unconscious and brought him to Newport Hospital for treatment.