Meeting called to order at
4:01pm by CCA President Gin Woo Ten, 10th
Dan, Kybioshi Dojo, House of Eyor.
Attending: Gin Woo Ten, President Sensei; Passa DeMayo,
Treasurer Senseless; Confused & Ancient helmsmen Acenhole, Deucebaga, Threepiezio,
Fourskinner, Fivendime, Sixpak, Sevenup, Eightbar, Nineball, and Tennyshoo.
Motion by Gin Woo Ten - establish code names for CCA helmspeople, shielding from scrutiny, ridicule, each other. Motion seconded, Passa DeMayo. Motion to cloak steering committee in veil of biodegradable shrink wrap passes 2-0, nine abstentions, one unaccounted for. Damn Slitthery to conduct internal investigation.
Treasurer’s Report
Passa DeMayo disclosed cash balance of $43,
675 sealed in hull of undisclosed sport fishing vessel berthed at undisclosed
location on unnamed salt pond. Rumors of security threats posed by invasive
oyster incursions will be mitigated by Seatown Town Councilors TomTom Drummerboy,
Damn Slitherry, and Jorge ´Flambe´, officially sanctioned CCA operatives.
Old Business
President Sensei Gin Woo Ten announced
finalized Associate Membership Agreement negotiated with Gaseous Passage
Association pending final dues payment of $5,000 in unmarked $100 bills. Memorandum
of Understanding executed by designated signatories. Majority control of Gaseous
Passage Association will be retained by the Co-Chairs of GPA Board of Directors,
Chiclets and Chlorine Gelato, in perpetuity. All communications between Coalition
of the Confused and Ancient and Gaseous Passage Association will be subject to
The Code of Hammurabi. Historical archive of said documents will be transcribed
by GPA Recording Secretary Tweety Birdstein. Archive to be hermetically sealed
in CCA-approved biodegradable time capsule, and placed in undisclosed location.
Motion by Sensei Woo to
accept GPA Associate Membership Agreement pending receipt of cash payments.
Motion seconded by Passa DeMayo. Motion passed, 2-0, seven abstentions, three
unaccounted for.
New Business
Motion by Sensei Woo to
accept GPA quid-pro-quo Endangered Parrot Species Agreement. Motion seconded by
Passa DeMayo. Motion passed, 2-0, three abstentions, seven unaccounted for.
Unfinished Business
Official CCA Policy Manual
states all business always unfinished due to constraints based on limited
attention span of Coalition of the Confused and Ancient membership. Time-sensitive
default motion to adjourn received by President Sensei Gin Woo Ten on cell phone
at 4:21pm, courtesy of Seatown’s CodeRed Community Notification System. Meeting
adjourned by consent agenda at 4:22.
Respectfully submitted,
Undisclosed Recipient
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About Charles Townsend
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About Charles Townsend
 |
| Charles during his days as a working reporter |
Newly recruited occasional contributor Charles
Townsend is a retired private investigator residing with his daughter,
son-in-law, and grandchildren in Burdickville. He’s a regular reader of the
Westerly Sun, a devotee of ClerkBase video, and a member of the Wood-Pawcatuck
Watershed Association.
Charlie likes writing parody, and has submitted pieces
for publication in satirical journals dozens of times since high school, “but
no one is ever willing to pay me, including you guys. Especially you guys.”
He considers his writing, “a cathartic relief from
self-absorbed washed-up wannabes who think they still have something to offer
to the community, when what they really need to do is shut up, go home, read a
good book, and leave working people alone.”
We are reluctant to ask why he agreed to pen for PC.
He makes no apologies for his Libertarian slant. So we’re not sure what his
true agenda may be. For now, we’ll just go with it and see where it takes us.
As usual, file your comments in the appropriate box, and be nice.
Happy April 1st!
