Trump Cabinet Officials Re-Name Selves
A rush of orders for new business cards and government I.D.s
is expected, but key officials are likely to be the first to see their new
names recognized on repainted doors and Trump accoutrements. Priority is
expected to be given Attorney General Pam Trump-Bondi, Secretary of the
Homeland Security, Kristi Trump-Noem and Secretary of Health and Human Services
Robert F. Trump-Kennedy Jr.
Although Trump-Hegseth and Trump-Rubio were first out of the
box, insiders believe that the changes were prompted by former Secretary
Kennedy, who reportedly mused that if the center bearing his uncle’s name was
to be called The Donald J. Trump and the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for
the Performing Arts, maybe he would change his own name.
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| Also under consideration, replacing red MAGA hats with these. Note that FBI Director Kash Patel is NOT wearing the new hat. He is currently considered the most likely Cabinet member to be fired. |
“Kinetically lethal,” said War Secretary Trump-Hegseth.
There have also been legislative proposals, not yet acted
upon, to rename or add the Trump name to Dulles International Airport and D.C.
Metro, and to place Trump’s likeness on Mount Rushmore and the $100 bill.
Litigation is expected regarding the institutional
renamings, and the three liberal justices of the Supreme Court asked
the conservative block to recuse themselves on grounds of conflict of interest.
Legal observers expect their request will be rejected by Chief Justice John G.
Trump-Roberts and Associate Justices Clarence Trump-Thomas, Samuel A.
Trump-Alito, Neil M. Trump-Gorsuch, Brett M. Trump-Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney
Trump-Barrett.
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