Menu Bar

Home           Calendar           Topics          Just Charlestown          About Us

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Charlestown - A Future Child-Free Zone

Ah, small-town America. A wonderful place to raise a family. Wonderful recreational opportunities. Small schools where your children can learn in a nurturing environment. Neighbors who are true friends. It’s a beautiful place.

Too bad that’s not the Charlestown our leaders want. The non-residents who run our town, behind the scenes and on the Town Council and Family Planning Commission, are actively working to prohibit the types of residences most suitable for young families. They don’t want those Breeders and their evil Spawn in this town!

According to this view, if you find out your neighbor is expecting a baby you shouldn’t go the baby shower with a present. Bring a bill instead! When that baby next door reaches school age it will cost you (you!!!) the price of one of those luscious scones at The Bakery - every year! If you hear that a family with three schoolchildren is moving in, anywhere in town, make sure they know that they owe you big time.

Children make a town a vibrant community with a future. Their contribution to the day-to-day life should be valued and nurtured. The children truly are our future.

But our non-resident property owners don’t see any benefit from having children here. They see more children than they want when they visit the beach. It’s bad enough when vacationing children clutter up the beach but it’s intolerable when those children live here year-round. Those Resident Spawn go to school. And we know that sending kids to school costs money.

The only thing that children in Charlestown do for the non-resident property owners is add to their taxes. So the obvious motivation is to minimize them.

It doesn't matter that Charlestown already has the third lowest taxes in the state. There are two others with lower taxes, and less children (relative to property valuation). The CCA website says we should strive to be "more in line with Little Compton". In Charlestown our schools cost us about $4.35 per $1000 valuation compared to $3.15 in Little Compton. We just need to reduce the number of schoolchildren by 25%.

I learned a lot about strategies and tactics for doing that by listening to the recording of the Affordable Housing Workshop last Monday. Don't worry, it will all be packaged so you will like it.

In the next installments on this topic:  ways to make Affordable Housing unattractive to Breeders and their Spawn; how to convince residents that children are best kept at a distance, like outside Charlestown.

Author: Tom Ferrio