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Sunday, July 28, 2013

OMGPD

Breaking INTO Jail
Summer Reading at the ACI

After reading a police report out of Cranston, we really want to know what book literally drove a woman back to jail. The 30-year-old woman from Johnston made sure Cranston police knew she was back in town and on a mission as she drove toward the Adult Correctional Institutions with hazards flashing and horn beeping. 

Reports indicate that she was screaming that she needed to go back to jail to finish a book – WHAT BOOK?! – and “save Jesus.” She did not appear to be on drugs or drunk, though police said she would yell random statements about various topics. 


Police had to remove her from the car after she pulled right up to the entrance of the medium security building. Though bail was set at $5,000 the woman was unable to make it and was remanded back to the ACI, and hopefully to her literature. 

Un-Cat-Like Cat Burglar

Burglarizing a home takes a certain amount of coordination and suaveness. Therefore, attempting to break into your neighbor’s house whilst under the influence is decidedly not advisable. One 24-year-old man allegedly tried to scale his building’s fire escape and into his neighbor’s infant daughter’s window. 

The father, however, intervened and the would-be cat burglar fell three stories to the ground before walking away from the area. (And no, he did not fall on his feet like a good cat burglar would have.)  When police questioned the man about the incident, he gave several explanations for his Spiderman-like behavior the night prior before police arrested him on charges of felony burglary.

Empty Your Drawers


To the CVS shopper in North Kingstown who stored his merchandise down his shorts: You know they have carriages and baskets, right? Police responded to the store after employees reported a possible shoplifter. According to reports, the man had taken two items and put them down his shorts

He then made his way up to the cashier and pulled the items from his shorts and paid for them. By the time police arrived, the man’s shorts were inexplicably around his ankles, said police. The manager did not want to press charges, but requested a no-trespass order.