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Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Santa's letter to Paula Andersen

Dear Paula,

I have to keep this brief as I just found out that the Charlestown Planning Commission is seeking an FFA restraining order banning me –well, actually anyone except bats, birds, and waterfowl- from entering the air space above town.

Just got an e-mail from George asking for a cash advance on the Affordable Log Home Kits business so he can enter into a partnership with a couple of friends to purchase said air space as “open space.” That must explain the restraining order. That’s a relief, thought it was the other thing with the reindeer “effluent…”

Listen, I know you’ve had a rough year sitting all by yourself among all those CCA folks and knowing that none of them really care what you have to say. I completely understand that first priority on your Christmas list, that this will all change in 2014.

I may be Santa, but I can’t deliver on every wish.

But I’ll try especially since you’ve been such a good sport under difficult circumstances. But as you know, others are going to have to pitch in on this gift, too.

Sorry about the impersonal delivery system with the link, but it’s gotten to the point in your town where it’s best not to leave a trace of anything: finger prints, foot prints, ATM transactions, etc.

And that’s especially because of the way that town communications are being so closely monitored.

So enjoy the season. Everything is pre-paid. Just do the “One Click Ordering” thing and enter special code “Magi.”

Be careful while keyboarding lest you enter the code “Mageau”, causing Councilman Slattery to mount the podium for his trademark Yuletide Filibuster, which turns children’s Christmas gifts into reindeer turds by the third sentence. Not good.

click here > To Paula  From Santa