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Thursday, February 25, 2016

“I know it when I see it.”

The Rural Character game
By Progressive Charlestown editors

Hey, kids, let’s play the “I know it when I see it” rural character game!

Yet, the town has no actual definition for what "rural character" means. Let's see what "rural character" means to you.

Which of the following items are part of Charlestown’s “rural character”? Don’t worry, there are no right or wrong answers, because rural character is in the eye of the beholder!

  • Growing vegetables
  • Raising chickens or other livestock
  • Bald eagles
  • Getting cursed out by chickadees and catbirds
  • Hunting
  • Fishing
  • Aquaculture
  • Growing (medical) marijuana
  • Meth labs
  • Lots of trees
  • Lots of critters
  • Bobcats, fisher cats and feral cats
  • Farms
  • Ruth Platner on a bicycle
  • Smoking on the beach
  • Drinking on the beach
  • Sex on the beach
  • Sex under the deck of an unoccupied beachhouse during the offseason
  • Urinating in the sand dunes because there are no bathroom facilities at the beach
  • Dogs on the beach
  • Horseback riding on the beach
  • Swamp Yankees
  • Well water, with or without E-coli, nitrates or salt water, but no fluoride.
  • Marauding pitbulls
  • Animal hoarding
  • 25% open space
  • 50% open space
  • 100% open space
  • ATV riding
  • Drunk driving
  • Active and abandoned stone quarries
  • Firing AR-15s at junk cars in the bottom of a quarry pit
  • Gun sales
  • Weapons stockpiling
  • No public transportation
  • Higher unemployment than the state average
  • Shining high-intensity torches into the night sky in defiance of our dark-sky ordinance*
  • Posting signs letting potential customers know of the location of your duly licensed and legally operated business
  • Parking RVs in your yard
  • Parking boats in your yard
  • Parking heavy equipment in your yard
  • Junked cars mounted on cinder blocks
  • Junk trailer on the road next to your driveway*
  • Cesspools
  • Underground fuel tanks, leaking or otherwise
  • Dumping your trash in the dumpster at Cumby's rather than fork over the $20 for a CRCC pass
Note: Washington State actually has a 60-page manual to help community DEFINE "rural character" and formulate plans for it. CLICK HERE for a pdf copy.

*Note: Only if you’re a CCA donor/fundraiser